Is asking a lot of questions a good or bad thing? 

Since I’m such an introvert I don’t like when people ask me 100 questions about my life. I’m very private and I feel like I’m being interrogated which leads to me shutting down. I like to tell people things on my own terms. 

I have to realize that everyone isn’t like me. Because I don’t like people asking me questions I tend to not do that to them and just let them tell me what they want on there terms.

Now I’m realizing that maybe that makes me look like a selfish bitch. I don’t ask people about anything which can come off as I don’t care which is not the case. 

I do care about other people’s lives and I should at least ask one question to get the coversation started and make it so at least they know I give a little bit of a shit about there lives. 

But how many questions should be asked before you just let people lead the convo and tell you what they want? I don’t want to seem like I’m trying to pry info out of them because I’m nosey but I don’t want to not ask anything and seem selfish. 

It’s like being caught between a rock and a hard place so I’m reaching out to you guys. 

How do I find a healthy balance between asking questions to seem like I genuinely care because I do and not asking 1000 questions and seem like I’m just nosey and want to know everyone’s business? Let me know in the comments. 


11 thoughts on “Is asking a lot of questions a good or bad thing? 

  1. I took a kind of personality quiz at work and it told me that I am the kind of person that likes to get straight to business while a lot of my coworkers like to be asked “how are you/how was your weekend/etc” before getting into work. I now force myself to be a little friendlier and extroverted than I am, but I don’t push myself completely out of my comfort zone.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Believe it or not, I never asked people, ‘ how are you, what’s up,’ those questions that automatically come with a hello for some people. My idea was that I didn’t actually care about the small talk, and specially if you were someone i didn’t know, i didn’t want to ask a question to something I don’t really mean to know!
      Then, working in customer service I began to feel awkward when they would ask me how i was or that i would just say hello and nothing else. like it was expected me due to my position! So I relearned or retrained myself to do the hi how you doing thing and it was weird at first, but i began to see it as a door to other cool stuff. Cuz once I did that, I did MY thing and said something funny or out of the blue or insightful . 🙂 And that was part of my balance !

      Liked by 2 people

    2. I’m the same way I like to just get right to work but I’ve learned how to master the art of small talk which comes in handy especially when I need a break from work and just want to get away from my desk talking to a coworker helps.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. This is so interesting. I feel like I’m the opposite and that asking questions is actually the tool I use to socialize well and am confident and comfortable using! Of course like you said, it is not for everyone and I totally get where you’re coming from.

    Reading people is a big thing for me. Peoples reactions, their responses , body language etc. It is a good indicator I find, for communicating. If I feel their answers are blunt, or that they divert any attention from them to something else, I know to refrain or to talk about something else.
    It’s a lot about what they’re giving you. Or what they are not.

    For yourself, if people are asking you questions that you begin to feel uncomfortable with, you wouldn’t give them long, detailed replies, right?
    I think what I have mentioned is a good key to finding that balance. And you get better at accuracy over time.
    Hope this was helpful 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I agree with you about reading people. Sometimes people want to talk about everything in there life and some people don’t so it’s important to be able to sense what kind of person you’re talking to. Thanks for the comment!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Yeah! Which brings me a thought on someone being very assertive and bold in self. Not to say that’s wrong or a bad thing, just that it means you’re probably only going to attract particular kind of people. Someone who is determining what kind of person they are talking to and then putting on the table certain parts of themselves that align with what they’ve discovered, is someone that may have a broader selection of people as friends. What do ya think?:)


  3. Don’t spy on them to learn information. If its someone you really care about, hang out with them, ask about what they love and want out of life. Never pressure them and never, ever assume anything, anything. That’s what I learned. If its for a job or something, ask whatever brings a question to your mind… This is only my opinion.

    Liked by 1 person

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