“Why are you so stubborn?”
This was a question that someone asked me a while ago and it threw me off. I was surprised because I’ve been called a lot of different things but stubborn wasn’t one of them.
I like to grow my hair long in the winter and cut it short for the summer. Which makes sense to me because it’s freezing in NJ in the winter and ridiculously hot and humid in the summer. Since it was winter at the time of this conversation my hair was getting long and apparently that doesn’t go very well with the person I was talking to. This person took it upon themselves to try to convince me to get a haircut. “You look so nice with shorter hair, you should go get it cut.” “When you grow your hair long it loses its style and starts to look dull.” These are the types of comments I’ve dealt with my entire life. If this was last year and I was having this conversation my response would be “ok I’ll go make an appointment next week.”
I am a recovering people pleaser. In the past someone would say their opinion about my life and I would convince myself I agreed and would change. I have come a long way since last year and I didn’t realize it until I responded to these comments.
“I’m not stubborn, I just like to do things when I want to do them and right now I like my hair long.” I was calm, firm and confident and couldn’t believe I said it. I was proud of myself and felt like a total badass. I would like to say this person respected my opinion and let it go but of course they still went on and on about my hair. I ignored it and changed the subject to more important things like my career and my two pugs (because there is more to me than just my looks).
When I left the conversation I started to really think about the topic of being stubborn. I realized I’m not stubborn, I just don’t want to settle. I don’t want to settle for a hairstyle I don’t want because someone else likes my hair a different way. I don’t want to settle for a job in an office working like a robot because someone else wants me to or because they want to have bragging rights to tell people I have a “real job” in an office. I’m not going to put myself in a financial hole and buy a house I can’t afford because other people think that’s what’s best for me. I’ve made those mistakes in the past and I was miserable.
People are going to have an opinion no matter what. Even if you do everything they want you to do they will still have an opinion so you might as well live your life they way you want to and be happy.
Kick ass, take names, live life your way, and fuck other people’s opinions. You have a lot more fun that way.