I’m in no way a relationship guru so don’t take this post to literally. All I know is what I’ve learned from being in a relationship for almost 9 years and let me tell you that’s a lot of learning during the years.
No relationship is perfect and you have to put in the work to make a relationship last.
“Everyone’s fucked up. You just gotta figure out what kind of fucked up you’re into.”
Relationships are hard work and they are not for the lazy. Each person in the relationship is human and will eventually make a mistake. It’s how you work through those mistakes that make you stronger as a couple.
Here are some lessons I’ve learned along the way;
- Kill them with kindness– If you are both yelling and being mean to each other, there will be no communication and you’ll accomplish nothing. One of you has to be calm, cool, and collected and that person is usually myself. My dad taught me that when someone is yelling at you respond to them in a soft calm voice and the human reaction is to stop yelling and talk back. It does work I’ve tried it many times. Also if your parnter is just being mean for no reason to you the best thing you can do is be nice to them. It makes them feel like an asshole and you’re the more mature one.
- You both have a right to get mad– One day I was so fed up with how my better half was talking to me that I lashed out and told him in an aggressive way that he better check his tone. He tried to turn the argument around on me and my response was “I’m just mad and I have a right to be mad so I’m going to voice my frustrations, what you do with those comments is on you but don’t make it seem like this is my fault just let me be mad for a min.” After that we gave each other some space and he fixed the problem.
- Give each other space– This applies to if you’re fighting or not. I learned that we get along better when we seperate ourselves from each other for a day or two instead of being around each other all the time. He travels alot for work and during those weeks we communicate alot better and learn to appreciate each other more. I need space to do what I want and he needs space to do what he wants. If we are together for too long we start to nag each other and that never ends well.
- Learn how to let stuff go- When you have stupid petty arguments learn how to end them. Don’t drag out an argument over nothing for days because your stubborn and want to be in control. Communicate, learn from the mistakes, and move on. There are alot of more important things going on in your relationship and in life that are more important than the argument about who is going to do the laundry that night.
- The grass isn’t always greener– Don’t compare your relationship with someone elses because every relationship is different. The one thing every relationship does have is issues, no matter how perfect people want you to believe there life and realtionship is, it’s not any different than yours. Don’t think that if you were in a different relationship things would be different because it wouldn’t be.
What are some things you’ve learned from your relationships? Past or present? Let me know in the comments