When you are in your early 20s you can not wait to turn 25. I thought by 25 I would have my life together. I thought I would be living the American Dream at 25. I would have a great job, a house, engaged (not married that is too young for me), money in the bank, traveling everywhere.
My vision of being 25 was very different than my reality of 25. When I was 25 I had a low paying corporate job that barely paid my bills, a condo in Florida that I couldn’t afford with my low paying job, not engaged, no money in the bank, student loans that I will pay off for the rest of my life, and I was lucky if I could afford to go out to dinner and a movie let alone travel the world.
You can now officially begin your quarter life crisis.
All of these things caused me to have a quarter life crisis. The more I thought about my reality, the more anxious I became. I thought I was a failure and if I didn’t have my life together by 25 I would never have it together.
Here are some ways that I handled my quarter life crisis;
- I stopped comparing my life to my parents. My parents were engaged by 23 and married by 25 and also had great career jobs by that time. This is one of the reasons why my vision of 25 was to have a career job and at least be engaged. Once I realized that when they were 25 the world was a lot different than it is today, I started to calm down. My generation is not so quick to settle down. We are focused on careers that fulfill us instead of settling for a 9-5. People aren’t getting married until they are in there 30s.
- I got into an exercise routine. Exercising is not just good for your physical health it is great for your mental health as well. I relieved a lot of stress and started to become more confident which helped my self esteem.
- I vented to others a lot, probably too much. I would go on walks with my boyfriend and dogs at night and we would just talk about our goals and how to achieve them. I would go over to family members houses and ask them for advice. I talked to coworkers, friends, even my dogs (who are the best listeners). When I am able to talk about things out loud it helps me plan for a better future. If I keep it in my head it keeps building up and it causes unnecessary stress.
I think it is easy to get caught up in the vision of how your life should be by a certain age and it’s even harder to get that vision out of your head when your life doesn’t go as planned. Once I let go of my vision of 25 and just started living my life and focusing on things I can control, my life changed for the better. I made a lot of mistakes in my early 20s and even when I was 25 and dug myself into a hole financially and emotionally. Those mistakes helped me to become the woman I am today. I am far from what I once was but no where near where I want to be and I am fine with that. I stopped planning my life and just started living it and it works.
Have you gone through a quarter life crisis? What are some things you did to get out of that funk? Let me know in the comments.